WANTED CONVERSATIONS

by Nasa Zain

I hold my conversations in the gardens

Where the winged ones live and welcome me.

We meet after hours, even after the Moon has slept

When we exchange tongues and the most sinful of secrets.

We talk about our desires and dreams,

What makes our hearts soar

and how we’d rewrite the stars.

Our toes would curl and our backs would arch,

Laughter filling our ears until Dawn arrives.

I just wish my winged friends were real.

I hold my conversations between the slip of time

That is Twilight and how it bridges our two realms.

I extend my hand for any spirit that wanders during

this lonely period. Only once were my fingers interlocked

with another who was looking for its next meal.

My blood was pumping, my pupils dilating,

I offered who I was in exchange for its knife-like

fangs to sink into my inhumane vessel.

This terrified the spirit, as it released me from its grip

And I was left to wander that cursed Twilight hour alone.

I just wished someone would be with me

long enough for the starry night to last.

My wishes have transitioned into prayers,

None of which have been answered.

I continue to sit with myself as the words spill out,

Each sinful secret and pathetic plea

all are I can entertain myself with.

I have grown bored of my solitude

Yet denied of any chance to break free from it.

I am the mistress of my desires

And they’ll be buried with me

after I’ve spent a lifetime of grieving

what will never come to fruit,

I’ll die with my forsaken dreams.