THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD
Ryann was just 47 kilos – even if you included the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“You’re underweight,” the doctor told her, but she sure didn’t feel like it even when the kids at school teased her, saying she’d float away to the sky if her clothes didn’t hold her down.
In fact, on some days, the sky would flutter down to her. She laid her head to rest on the clouds, hours at a time each day. It used to be once or twice every week, but soon the comfort became an addiction. She’d summon the sky every time the world around her began to blur. It gave her clarity.
When her father greeted her at home with a raised fist, the clouds softened each blow with a misty dullness.
When her mother whipped her with words of blame and regrets, rain fell from her bedroom ceiling to dampen her ears.
The moon whispered to her each night, illuminating the speckles of love and affection her parents left on her skin. “It could be worse,” words sounding from her own voice rang in her ear as she drifted into a daydream that watched over her heavy body as it sunk into bed.
It gave her clarity, she told herself.
Clarity that her father and mother were carrying their own weight of the world, and she was 47 kilos on their shoulders.
Clarity that her classmates were carrying the weight of the world, and she was just 47 kilos in their eyes.
That she was lucky to have such a gift that they did not have, to escape from this world with her head above the skies.
The doctor tried to take away her clarity. “For your own good,” he said. Maybe he had his own world to carry, and she was just a 47 kilo weight in his files.
No one else were awake enough to see the weight of the world on their shoulders, nor the shoulders of those around them.
“How lucky I am to be awake when I sleep; to be 47 kilos lighter than my body as it sinks into bed.”
Ryann was just 47 kilos – even when she took the weight of the world off her shoulders.
Lynn is an emerging writer, having completed her undergraduate in Professional Writing and Film at Bangor University, UK.
She can be found on Instagram @_lemonin, exploring jungles and chasing waterfalls around Borneo Island.