OF SMOKE RINGS AND UNSAID THINGS

by Bidisha P. Kashyap

I remember the sunrays resting on your cheeks that day and me, tracing the freckles across your face with my eyes. You looked like an angel with that little heart shaped freckle at the corner of your right eye. My fingertips run across your shoulder, then moves to your chest. Palm resting right where your heart sings loudly. 


Last night you told me about your dreams and how there were so many things you want your mortal body to consume. Oh what a pretty little disaster I would have missed if our paths never crossed. We whispered promises into smoke rings and giggled I love yous, when the cold air bit onto our fingers. 

"I don't want to go home." 

The winds make me shiver. 

"Shut up dork, there will always be another day."

I prayed for the night to go slow. I prayed. Maybe that is what all atheists do, when they know that they are falling- but love, I am terrified of you. I am terrified of all the dawns you are yet to consume with all the pretty strangers you are yet to come across. I am afraid because you are teaching me to love. Is it even a thing anymore? 


The windchime chirped as the wind whirled past the blinds. It takes four seconds and six lazy blinks for you to wake up but as soon as you do, you smile. "You didn't sleep?" 

I nod smiling back "Nah, didn't wanted to wake up."


It is a very human thing to feel. To love. I keep reminding myself as I watch you button up your shirt from the other edge of my bed. You look up at me, brush your hair back with your fingers and pretend to never hear the question that linger in my eyes. "Perhaps, I'll take up dancing again" I speak up unknowingly as you scoot closer to me. Your lips press against my forehead, trailing a soft line of kisses right next to my ear. "Love, no matter what you do, always remember to live. Live right from the sunrise-" 

"-Till I cannot keep my eyes open anymore."

 I managed a smile as I watch you leave. 


- And out of all the emotions I consumed in the last twenty four hours, the regret of letting you go weighed the most.

 
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BY BIDISHA P KASHYAP

Bidisha P. Kashyap is a nineteen year old history major and a literature enthusiast from India. She is an avid reader and often likes to write as well. Being introduced to the world of literature, she has been published in a couple of anthologies, local dailies, literary websites, magazines, poetry pages and so on. She also runs a wordpress blog and an instagram page showcasing her works. She is a firm believer of the line, "a pen is mightier than the sword" and often takes help of her words to express her emotions. Her poetry basically centres around love, heartbreak, longing, old school romances and so on. 

Instagram: @bidishaa_a